Some years ago, a man told me, “what grows in the dark, dies in the light”. I took him at his word. He was a recovering crack addict with 8 years clean.
I gave what he said considerable thought. I interpreted as ”a person should eventually grow tired of being in their own way.”
The process of bringing things to light was difficult, but what dwelled inside me threatened my dreams, goals, and aspirations. It took some work, but eventually I began shining it brightly on my insecurities, fears, and even my childhood traumas.
Most of what grew in the dark was not of my doing, but as an adult, it is my responsibility. Taking ownership leaves no room for anger, resentment, or jealousy.
I have spent a considerable amount of my life plagued with nightmares, sleeping with weapons, and never opening windows. That is draining.
Think of what pains you, the resentments, the anger, or the insecurities that keep you standing still. Draining isn’t it?
Shining that light isn’t easy. It will make your eyes hurt, burn, and water. But what is the alternative? Nothing.
When it is all said and done, I need to know that I gave it my all. Did what I could do until I couldn’t do anymore. Fought the good fight. Ran my best race. I refuse to accept anything less.
What grows in the dark, dies in the light. Promise.
Your post has inspired some deep but necessary thought on what I’ve allowed to grow in the night. I don’t want these things to control my life but I’ve been letting them.
Thanks Jess. Start small, very small. And know that I have your back.
KT, thank you for this article. I thought that til I read this that I have been able to handle everything in my past. I realized that the dark is still there and I cant do it by myself anymore. I have taken the first step to get back in control 9f my life and leave the past behind. I know that if will take time but I have the support of friends and family.
thank you for something so powerful, especially from a long time friend.
Lauren,
I thought the same as well, but past issues would resurface under similar present day circumstances. There was always these reminders. These turbulent moments in my life. I began to think about the time and energy it takes to manage these moments and how it could be put to better use. That was enough to spur me into action. I wanted more and more was on the other side of the mountain. I wish you the best and please feel free to email or call if you need anything.
Sincerely,
Your long time friend
Great post, and I am eagerly awaiting the next one! hugs!
Thanks AJ! I am trying channel your blogging energy and knockout a few in one sitting.
Wow I didn’t know you were so screwed up! All jokes aside, I’ve seen you grow for someone that was hard to handle to a good man, father and friend. Right on brother!
Appreciate, Sully! Same to you.
This was very profound. At first I had some reservations about what your friend said, but when you explained it as moving out of your own way, it resonated with me. What you have done is bloom in adversity, which transcends the darkness and becomes bigger and brighter than its surroundings. Thank you very much for allowing me to witness that in you. Be blessed!
I love how people read the same things, understand it the same, but word it differently. Small shifts in perception that add to the whole. Thank you very much for reading. You be blessed as well.
Your writing is so honest. It can cut right to the bone. You are very gifted Karleton!
Thank you!
Brings to mind the quote ‘Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.’
Kudos to you KT for having the courage to share this.
That is a great quote and so true. Honestly, I do not feel brave at all. I feel like I should of done this years ago and am just now reaching that expectation. So I have a long way to go. Thanks Dan.
My brother. As I came to the end of this post, I pondered about our times together – during my own days in the dark. It’s remarkable what becomes of a boy when he steps into the light and becomes a man. I enjoyed your writing and look forward to the others.
Papi,
We go back some years…yours and my own dark days. It is truly remarkable. Thanks.